The Pain Of Starting & The Fear Of Failure

"Never make a permanent decision in a temporary situation."

I heard this quote a while back and it's stuck with me ever since. We make decisions every day; and those seemingly small decisions we make, when compounded over time become a part of habitual behaviours we take part in that run our daily lives. Now, I may have used a lot of words to describe something as simple as, live a life you want to live by taking control of the decisions you make, but it serves a purpose. You see, we often overcomplicate the solutions to our problems, as we look through the latest self help book, or find some new fancy quote online about our situation and try to feel better when all that is needed is time, space, and faith.

Time: To allow for rational thoughts to resurface - and reflection

Space: The people around us and the environment we find ourselves in. Does our environment have triggers?  

Faith: A belief system, hope, trusting the process

Moreover, this blog post is not one that focusses on some "1 solution fixes all" self-help nonsense, but rather it delves into the depths of our daily decisions that influence the decisions we make, good or bad. We all have areas we want to improve in our lives, whether it's financially, with relationships, or even breaking certain addictions, there is something we want changed. Now, certain advice out there may tell you that what you're facing is fake and you just need to get over it. Read, educate yourself and get over it. If that were the case you would've gotten over it already. The real issues stem from pain and fear. The pain of starting and the fear of failing. You teeter-totter in this state, constantly keeping you from starting and even when you do eventually start, the fear of failure paralyzes your decision making ability and brings you back to where you started, in pain. I know this because this was me, and I'm at a point now where I've being through this enough times to share my strategies on how I got out of this state and stayed out of it.

Let's take a logical approach to this; If pain and fear prohibits you from achieving your goals, then we must identify the cause and triggers of pain. I'll use my situation as an example. Being a kid that grew up playing video games constantly, I used it as an escape from reality. An escape from my school work and an escape from dealing with difficult situations. Now, there could've been worse outlets, but nonetheless it was still something that allowed me to stay in a state of fear and pain. Years go on and over the pandemic the outlet that was once video games, had 2 new additions in fast food and Netflix. You see, it doesn't just stay the same. I eventually ended up doing all of this, most of the time altogether. I lost interest and motivation in doing healthy things, like working out and staying focused on attaining a high-income skill and continued my rut of being consumed with unhealthy outlets. Now, how did I get myself out of this? Here are some mindset shifts that needed to occur before I share the practicum.

1. Faith - Being christian I am obligated to live my life to glorify Jesus, therefore I could not stay where I was. - I am put on the earth for more than just Netflix, video games, and food.
2. Your Why - what makes you do what you do? - For me it's my goal of being able to help those that have disabilities. Growing up with a quadriplegic father, I understand how difficult it can be for the person and family to live a life at ease. If I don't change that means potential disabled individuals will not receive care from myself. Although there are many hospitals out there for people with disabilities I must frame it this way in my mind so that I'll be pushed to get out of my rut.

1. Do one thing - It's pretty simple, just do one thing that you know will benefit you or someone else. It could be as simple as washing the dishes, making your bed, or even opening your laptop and doing something productive for 5 minutes. The point of this is to build momentum.
2. "Small steps great distances" - (Eric Thomas) Do small productive things every morning that will either benefit your business project, school, work etc.. Doing something small every morning will build productive habits. Imagine where you'll be in a week, month, 2 months, 6 months, 1 year, you get the idea.... This will help move your life in the direction you've been imagining.
3. Using your imagination - This is not just being creative, but rather picturing yourself in the life you want. That means walking through what a day in your future would be like if everything went to plan. - From what you're eating, to who you're talking to, to even what your job will be, picture everything. This will give you something to work towards.

That's it for the second edition of my blog post journey. Thanks for reading and I'm looking forward to releasing the third edition "Stimulus Control" 🙂

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Coach Zach

ZXF Fitness